WEEK 3 - 16 January 2022
THIS WEEK, i
… Repossessed two black and white kittens from an estate. Ms Lyre was given every opportunity to pay our animal charity for Jack and Jill. The harpy has lied so blithely to us volunteers to avoid parting with money, she could give Boris lessons. The charity needs this payment from cat rehomers to cover our vets fees.
Watched by a meandering dog, I argued with Ms Lyre’s adult son on their doorstep with Ms Lyre screeching at me from his phone-screen. She appeared to be driving. Her offspring was wearing nowt but saggy tracky bottoms; it made me nostalgic for vests. At last, after centuries had passed, he thrust two huge wriggling kittens at me and shut the door. The duo have been neutered/ spayed as a matter of urgency, after Jack tried to mount Jill in the car.
… Waved Jonathan off to France after Covid restrictions were lifted and the French welcomed back Brits with open arms (cough). Must ask if he was made to wait hours at Passport control, as punishment for leaving the EU. My husband swore it was cheaper to travel via Paris, staying there for two nights … However, I have received reassuring photos of ancient exhibits in the Louvre. Any mistress, unless she’s a connoisseur of sarcophagi or has a death wish, will have run for the hills.
… Met up with three fellow-writers in Lancaster. Feedback on each other’s creative projects was briskly dealt with, then an erudite discussion ensued about Rowan Atkinson’s love-life. I couldn’t understand it. Why would anyone want a wife half their age? Cue to be bored senseless by their youthful outlook: been there, thought that 30 years ago, got the T-shirt! Not to mention all that dangerous physical exertion! Cordelia went quiet and looked shifty. I’ll check with Rowena: she’ll know if Cordelia’s got a toy-boy. It would explain the bags under her eyes.