WEEK 8 - 20 February 2022
Can’t believe I didn’t remember to mention Valentine’s Day last Blog! Time concertinas with age I find … What day is it? Only joking, I memorise the day and date each morning in case a doctor still wet behind the ears has me banged up for being over 60. Bette Davis said, ‘Old age ain’t no place for sissies’ – fair enough, but she forgot to add there’s nowt as tough as old women.
They’ve seen and done it all! I knitted my T-shirt from sheep’s wool gathered from frosty hedgerows. I fumbled it to thread between rheumatic fingers in a damp cottage, dyed the yarn in crimson blood … As if! Bought the T-shirt at Help the Aged.
Old women are hard and bright as diamonds; nostalgia like bindweed is shrivelled at source. We order our tasers from Amazon, but cleverly disguise ourselves as prunes so as not to frighten youngsters and be forced to use them.
Btw I had a lovely Valentine’s Day! It was also the 34th anniversary of me concussing my Beloved and proposing to him. My husband has been wary of answering in the affirmative ever since, but perhaps he’s just forgotten the word.
Hasn’t Mr Pooh-Tin got any sensible female relatives? The short man (see Syndrome) is almost 70 and, judging by recent anti-social behaviour, it’s way past time he was moved into a nice Twilight Home for the Deranged. Siberian staff in particular are excellent at coping with deluded old despots.
I’m now fostering three kittens … But I won’t bore you.
